Here is my account of Roscoe's birth story. It's been nearly 4 months so some details may be a little fuzzy. Also, this is a birth story....some details may be TMI but I feel like they are important! I will try to keep it as "clean" as possible. The word nipple may pop up. It may also be lengthy as I tend to go overboard with details when I write. If you can wade through all the extra stuff, you'll find the nitty gritty of Roscoes birth in here somewhere.
On December 21, 2014 I was 39 weeks pregnant exactly.
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| 39 Weeks Pregnant |
It was Sunday. Matt and I got up and went to meeting. We actually were invited to a meeting out of town and then went to have lunch at the home of some our dear friends. The lady of the home gave me these herbal supplements and said they would help aid labor. She told me they would not necessarily put me in labor (but could, if my body was already gearing up for labor) but would help the labor progress easier and tone my uterus for it's upcoming work out. It is recommended to take 2 tablets 3 times a day starting at 35 weeks. Obviously I was a little behind. She gave me a print out of all the verified information on this product. I took 2 pills at lunch and 2 pills at dinner that day.
All morning long people asked "When are you due?" and all morning long Matt and I replied "In one week but we aren't expecting baby for at least another 2 or 3 weeks!" It is not uncommon for first time mom's to go past their "estimated due date" so we were trying to pump ourselves up for the long haul, although both of us were getting incredibly anxious and ready for little Baby Hill to come meet the world on "the outside".
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| 5-W Capsules....were they magic pills? We may never know. |
All morning long people asked "When are you due?" and all morning long Matt and I replied "In one week but we aren't expecting baby for at least another 2 or 3 weeks!" It is not uncommon for first time mom's to go past their "estimated due date" so we were trying to pump ourselves up for the long haul, although both of us were getting incredibly anxious and ready for little Baby Hill to come meet the world on "the outside".
After lunch we drove home and I proceeded to take a FAT nap. Some other dear friends of ours
stopped by and dropped of some baby gifts and some food they weren't going to use as they were on their way out of town. We went to gospel meeting that afternoon where once more we were questioned on baby's due date and receiving comments on just how incredibly pregnant I was.
With not even a Braxton Hicks contraction in sight we assured everyone once more that we weren't expecting little Baby Hill for at least a couple more weeks. After meeting we visited the "old ladies" (2 of our very dear elderly lady friends who are in nursing homes). We came home and enjoyed an evening of just hanging out with each other. We talked about how we were so ready for Baby Hill and how it would be wonderful if I would go into labor that night as it was Christmas week and would be a great week for Matt to take off work and be home with baby and I.
stopped by and dropped of some baby gifts and some food they weren't going to use as they were on their way out of town. We went to gospel meeting that afternoon where once more we were questioned on baby's due date and receiving comments on just how incredibly pregnant I was.
With not even a Braxton Hicks contraction in sight we assured everyone once more that we weren't expecting little Baby Hill for at least a couple more weeks. After meeting we visited the "old ladies" (2 of our very dear elderly lady friends who are in nursing homes). We came home and enjoyed an evening of just hanging out with each other. We talked about how we were so ready for Baby Hill and how it would be wonderful if I would go into labor that night as it was Christmas week and would be a great week for Matt to take off work and be home with baby and I.
I had borrowed my midwifes yoga ball and had been bouncing on it for days trying to move little Baby Hill to the exit of his current home. Baby Hill (gender unknown at that time) was content to stay up high and hadn't dropped at all that I could tell. In fact my dear Aunt Leslie had commented on my 39 week picture stating baby was still pretty high up and that I probably shouldn't expect little Hill to come today or tomorrow and to settle in and take another nap. I agreed with her. I was still doing all the at home methods I could think of to get this infant child out. This included a week of "coffee potty's" (boiling water poured into a large bowl containing a scoop of coffee grounds, set in the toilet....sit on it with a towel over your legs....yes this is a thing. No, I don't think it helped anything), "butter lattes" (literally a ridiculous amount of melted butter with hot milk and sugar....or as Matt calls it, heart attack in a mug....delicious but also don't think it helped a whole lot) and walking. I did not try castor oil.
Anyway, as I sat on my yoga ball bouncing away talking with Matt about how wonderful it would be to go into labor already, I decided to try one more "at home" technique for getting this child out. Nipple stimulation. Now don't get all freaked out...I just used my breast pump. This was supposed to help contractions start. I was hooked up to this contraption for about 10 minutes....then I felt like I peed my pants. I didn't feet any contractions though (yet). This was at about 8:15pm. I kept this information to myself for a few minutes as I pondered whether this could actually be my water or if I really did pee my pants. After another semi-gush I told Matt that I suspected my water had broken. I decided to wait just a bit longer to try to confirm this information before calling my midwife. After a couple more "gushes" (such an attractive term....) I called her and she gave me tips on how to confirm if this was amniotic fluid. I'll spare you the details but I followed her advice and had NO doubt whatsoever that this was IT. (As it turns out, it was in fact amniotic fluid but it was a "high leak" which meant Roscoe's amniotic sac was still in tact and still had plenty of fluid in there....we found this out later)
Anyway, as I sat on my yoga ball bouncing away talking with Matt about how wonderful it would be to go into labor already, I decided to try one more "at home" technique for getting this child out. Nipple stimulation. Now don't get all freaked out...I just used my breast pump. This was supposed to help contractions start. I was hooked up to this contraption for about 10 minutes....then I felt like I peed my pants. I didn't feet any contractions though (yet). This was at about 8:15pm. I kept this information to myself for a few minutes as I pondered whether this could actually be my water or if I really did pee my pants. After another semi-gush I told Matt that I suspected my water had broken. I decided to wait just a bit longer to try to confirm this information before calling my midwife. After a couple more "gushes" (such an attractive term....) I called her and she gave me tips on how to confirm if this was amniotic fluid. I'll spare you the details but I followed her advice and had NO doubt whatsoever that this was IT. (As it turns out, it was in fact amniotic fluid but it was a "high leak" which meant Roscoe's amniotic sac was still in tact and still had plenty of fluid in there....we found this out later)
Matt switched to panic mode. Since my water had broken (so we thought) and the midwife said to expect contractions to start in the next few hours (they didn't wait that long to start) Matt was under the impression that Baby Hill was going to make an appearance any minute. I remained calm as I knew this could potentially and likely be a long journey. We had planned to get a sink adapter for the water house to fill the birth pool up the next day as, again, we really didn't anticipate Baby Hill's arrival for another couple of weeks, at least. After stopping for gas because the car was nearly on empty, we went to Home Depot and Lowes (Matt put his shoes on so enthusiastically he broke both his shoe strings) but they had both closed at 8. We decided to see if Wal-Mart carried such a doo hickey (they do not) and contractions started. Very mild inconsistent contractions. Matt was in a frenzy and could not understand why I was so calm. He was at a loss as to why we weren't filling up the birth pool RIGHT NOW and why the midwife wasn't immediately on her way (read the baby books guys....you will then understand that USUALLY, labor is not a quick ordeal).
Wal-Mart failed us and Matt was disgruntled (YOU ARE IN LABOR! WHY AREN'T YOU FREAKING OUT?! I TOLD YOU WALMART WOULDN'T HAVE IT! HOW WILL WE FILL THE BIRTH POOL? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WAIT? YOUR BIRTH PLAN INCLUDES THE BIRTH POOL! THAT'S WHY ITS BLOWN UP AND READY TO FILL!") so we went home and waited for contractions to regulate. My midwife suggested we try to get some sleep (HAHAHA....sleep....when you know your little human is going to make an entrance within the next 24ish hours....). Matt asked if he should take his sleeping medicine and I assured him it would be fine as we were most likely in for a long night of nothing exciting. I started timing contractions at about 10pm. By midnight they were very consistent. 50 seconds long every 3-5 minutes. They got increasingly uncomfortable and I figured SOMETHING productive was happening. I woke Matt up and told him I was calling my midwife (poor guy was slightly frustrated since he was groggy from his medicine and I told him he could take it and now I was telling him I'm calling the midwife). My midwife came over at about 1:30am and observed my contractions. I put on my birth playlist (Matt says Toto- Africa is forever ruined as we ended up starting the playlist about 12 times but never actually got all the way through. Toto- Africa was the first song on my list. I do not know why) and Matt sat up with us trying to stay awake. At 2am Sandra (my midwife) said he wouldn't miss the action if he went back to bed and that we were probably not having a baby until late Monday morning....she predicted 11am. I predicted 7pm. Matt thought the baby should already be here. At 2:45am Sandra offered to do a cervical check. I agreed to it thinking I had to at least be 2cm. The contractions felt productive! WRONG! Not even a full centimeter dilated. WHAT?!?! Again she suggested trying to get some sleep and so I did. She stayed in our guest room and tried to get some rest too. I crawled into bed and eventually fell asleep. The contractions had slowed down quite a bit (30 second contractions every 4-6 minutes) as soon as Sandra showed up....go figure. I slept in between the contractions. At 5:30am or so I woke up and I could no longer manage the contractions lying down. I went to the living room and felt nauseous, then proceeded to throw up which woke up Matt and Sandra. I went to the beloved birth ball (seriously the best thing ever in my opinion) and started the birth playlist again. Matt found out that Home Depot opened at 6am and rushed off to get our missing doo hickey to fill the birth tub.
It was an incredibly boring and uneventful morning (unless you consider a huge pregnant lady making weird sounds as she bounced on a yoga ball and timed contractions eventful). Sandra monitored baby's heartbeat fairly frequently, always asking permission before touching me. Matt set everything up for the birth pool and then monitored sports news and scores on ESPN.com. Poor Sandra was bored to pieces as we don't have a TV. We all ate some breakfast casserole that one of our friends had made to freeze for this occasion. There was small talk here and there but mostly it was quiet as I focused on contractions and we tried to keep the family in the loop. At around 11am Sandra offered another cervical check which revealed I was 3cm. Contractions were consistent and growing in intensity but were easily managed by deep breathing, bouncing on the ball and some vocalization. Matt also helped me cope by applying counter pressure to my lower back and standing behind me grabbing my hips as I swayed and circled my hips. After my cervical check, contractions really started picking up and my "birth song" (vocalizations) were becoming louder and more focused. I would start low and quiet as I felt the contraction come on and the volume would increase as the contraction did. It was a kind of an "ooooooo" and "awwwww" sound combination. I couldn't replicate it now if I tried. Sandra suggested we go for a walk. She said even if we just walked around the house that would be a good change of environment and would keep things moving along. Matt and I walked to the backyard, stopping twice to "sing" and sway through contractions. He became a pro at timing them for me on our contraction timing app called Full Term. Matt says when we got to the alley and I had a few particularly strong contractions, I had every dog in the neighborhood howling. I'm sure it was quite a sight to whoever saw us. Standing in the alley, making strange (and loud) noises, swaying around with Matt standing behind me applying counter pressure and swaying with me. We went back inside and I asked Sandra if I could take a hot shower. She assured me it would be fine to take a hot shower. The hot water did amazing things for me. I was on all fours on the bathtub floor with hot water hitting my lower back and Matt timing contractions. Sandra came in to check baby's heart rate a couple of times. When I got too hot, I got out of the tub and Matt asked if I wanted to eat. I had been trying to eat light snacks to keep my energy and strength up. Sandra said I could have whatever I wanted for lunch so my sweet husband went out and got me chicken curry (because I love chicken curry). Contractions had slowed down some but had mostly followed a very consistent 1min long, 2min apart pattern. They were pretty strong and my vocalizations became "wilder". Matt brought my lunch and I ate the deliciousness. Sandra asked if she could go get a drink and she would be back in about 30mins. She checked the baby's heart rate and we told her we were fine managing contractions and to feel free to go get a drink or lunch or whatever she needed. Shortly after she left contractions began coming what felt like one right after the other. Matt was having trouble keeping up with timing them. We hadn't filled the birth pool yet because I didn't want to get in too soon and cause stalled labor. I ended up sitting in the bath tub filled with hot water. Splashing hot water on my tummy during a contraction was so relieving. Matt texted Sandra to let her know things were getting pretty intense. She came back and continued to monitor me. I kept refilling the tub with hot water as that was the only relief I could find at that time.
I should mention that Matt was an AWESOME birth partner. He applied counter pressure in exactly the right spot with exactly the right pressure at exactly the right times. He had calmed down since realizing this was going to be a pretty drawn out ordeal and was perfectly collected and helpful. I don't think there was even once when he became aggitating. Just supportive and helpful. He held my hand and told me I was doing great. He was sympathetic during contractions. He was attentive to my needs and requests.
Anyway, at about 2:30 Sandra offered another cervical check. Things were getting crazy intense and I was super inwardly focused. I agreed to the check and found I was 5cm. I could NOT believe I was ONLY halfway. I was seriously starting to think I could not handle this if it was going to take umpteen more hours to dilate to a 10. She said there was a bulging bag of waters which meant when I thought my water had broken, it hadn't really. I was leaking amniotic fluid but it was a "high leak" and the bag was still in tact and still had fluids in it. She offered to break my water and warned me that this would cause baby to drop straight to my cervix and that things would get even more intense but that it would help speed the process up. Originally I did not want artificial rupture of membranes but I could not face the possibility of more endless hours of contractions and if this would help speed things along I was in. In retrospect, I would have kept my waters in tact and coped with the contractions. I was SO unprepared for the pain I received almost immediately after she broke my water. Seriously...an all body and mind consuming pain. I went off to another world and became a possessed crazy demon lady. It no longer felt like waves of contractions that I could time and cope with. My whole body was shivering and shaking uncontrollably. I was trying my best to keep up. My birth song was no longer controlled moaning but was now wild yelling. My focused breathing was out the window and I found myself holding my breath (although I was really trying not to). I was begging to get in the birth pool but it wasn't filled yet. Matt was trying but I had used most of the hot water for my earlier baths.
To my surprised I was most comfortable on my back. I tried many different positions and being on my back was the most relieving. However, Baby Hill disagreed and was not tolerating me being on my back all that well. Matt and Sandra kept rolling me to my left side (I seriously could not move...I was trying but I just couldn't). I was yelling that this was a bad idea and that I couldn't do it. Matt was by my head softly telling me I was doing great and that I could do it....I WAS doing it. Sandra was saying my name and trying to get me refocused, also telling me I was doing great and that I could do it and in fact WAS doing it. Also, that it was a little late in the game to decide that I couldn't do it.
The birth pool was finally ready (not really, it was less than half full. However, it was full enough for me to lay down in it and still find some relief from the hot water.) At first, I flailed around like a crazy fish lady, splashing water all over the place. Sandra checked me again (with my permission) and I was a 7cm. Things were progressing very quickly now. The all consuming pain was gone and I was back to manageable contractions.
Shortly after that I felt major pressure. I kept telling the midwife that I felt like I needed to poop. I asked her if I should try doing that before we proceeded, you know, to avoid any embarrassing mishaps. She said no.
Sandra checked me again and I was FINALLY a 10. Hallelujah!!! Finally!! Yay!! Light at the end of the tunnel!!!!! It hadn't been quite an hour since she broke my water. It was about 3:30 when I started pushing. Sandra monitored baby's heartbeat to make sure baby was tolerating pushing ok. After several hardcore pushes, which I honestly didn't really have control over. My body did all the work and I just listened to it, Sandra told me not to push with the next contraction so we could give Baby Hill and little break and let them "catch their breath", so to speak. Contractions were no long painful, just very "pressurey". It was SO hard not to push during that next contraction. Finally it was over and Sandra said baby was just fine and I could start pushing again. Sandra did not interfere with my pushing process. She monitored and observed to make sure things were going smoothly but she did not tell me when to push and when to stop pushing as long as baby was responding well to pushing.
Pushing hurt. Not in the same way that contractions hurt. I read about the "ring of fire" during child birth. This is a very real thing. It burned...more of a stinging really. I was trying not to push so hard that I caused any major tearing but it was so hard....my body was telling me to push with all my might and resisting that urge is SO HARD. I told Sandra it was burning. I was getting frustrated because every time I would push I would feel baby come down but then baby would go back up and I felt like I had to keep starting over. At some point Sandra told me to reach down and feel my babys head. It was just a little spot of the top of his head but I could feel it! I could see a little bit of babys hair too. Matt asked if he could feel it to, which was surprising because neither of us thought he would be interested in that process. He was so amazed by it. He kept telling me "it's almost here! The baby is almost here!". Sandra told me to try to do smaller pushes closer together instead of big long pushes. I tried really hard but it just wasn't working. Finally we were making some real progress and I was asking Sandra to help me because it was really burning. She provided some support to help babys head come out without causing any major tearing. FINALLY babys head was more out than in and Sandra stepped back and let me at it. I pushed a couple more times and out came babys head. I could see his precious little face. Sandra told me to push his body out and I thought "Oh man, I'm not sure I can handle pushing anymore!". I gave one more little push and Baby Hill's shoulders and body slid right on out, at 4:02pm. I caught him on his way out and pulled him from the water up to my chest straight away. Matt had been holding my hand the whole time and telling me when he could see the baby and just providing support in general. When I pulled the baby out Matt was beaming. My first thought was to check if we had a boy or a girl. It was quite obvious that he was a boy.
Roscoe cried immediately when I pulled him out of the water. He pinked up almost as quickly. Matt said he was nervous at first because Roscoe was blue. I explained to him that this was actually normal. Matt kissed me and then leaned over and kissed our little baby. Sandra took some pictures for us. I held little baby Roscoe right on my chest and gently splashed water on him. I kept his body as much in the water as I could. I thought I would cry when Roscoe was born but I didn't. I was so amazed at everything that had happened. I was in shock that I had actually done it. I had birthed our baby and I had done it pretty much exactly the way I had planned to. Matt and I stared at Roscoe and at each other and took it all in. Sandra checked his cord and took a look at him (without taking him from my arms) to make sure everything was looking good. About 15 mins later I delivered the placenta, which was a BREEZE. She placed it in a bowl floating in the pool and monitored my bleeding. She said it was a little heavy but after pushing/massaging my uterus for a minute said it was all under control. As soon as Roscoes cord stopped pulsing (only a few minutes after delivering the placenta) Matt cut his cord. The whole pregnancy Matt was animate he was not going to cut the cord because a) he didn't do well with blood and b) he was afraid he was going to hurt Roscoe some how. When it came time to do it, he did it and he did it like a pro! He was so excited because he could finally hold Roscoe now that he was no longer attached to me. Matt had Roscoe wrapped up in a towel and Sandra helped me out of the pool and into the bedroom. She helped me get in bed and Matt brought Roscoe to me. Sandra left the room and went to gather some of her supplies and told us she would be back in the room in about an hour as to allow us all some family bonding time. Matt and I took turns holding and admiring little Baby Hill. I tried to get him to latch a couple of times but he wasn't interested. He was sleeping pretty soundly all wrapped up in a fresh fluffy baby blanket.
Sandra came back in and Matt left to rent a pump to pump out the birth pool. Sandra gave me an examination and determined I needed a few stitches. She got everything ready for that and by the time Matt returned was ready to put in the stitches. The lighting in the bedroom is awful for sutures. Sandra asked Matt to help her. Unfortunately, Matt was in a tizzy because he was trying to pump out the pool. The hose was too short to take out in the yard so he just had it out the back door. However, they (being the construction crew working on our house) had just dug out the footings for the concrete work. The water was flooding the footings and since Matt didn't want to have to dig them out again decided to drain the pool in the sink. The pump was pumping water out so fast that it flooded the sink and spilled all over the kitchen. Matt says there was placenta water all over the kitchen floor. He was trying to clean it up and Sandra kept calling him to come help her....it got tense for a moment. Finally Matt got the placenta water more or less cleaned up and came and helped Sandra. Then he took Roscoe and Sandra helped me to the bathroom to finish cleaning up and get into some nice fresh clean clothes. She helped me back into the bedroom and did Roscoes assessment. Weight, length, breathing, heart beat, etc. He checked out perfectly! Matt and I dressed Roscoe and then I tried to see if he would latch again. His latch was spot on from the get go. Sandra gathered her things, I fed Roscoe, Matt saw Sandra out and then we all cuddled on the couch. Matt and I watched Roscoe sleep for a while and finally when the rush of everything started wearing off and the exhaustion started setting in we all went to bed.
I loved my birth experience, as much as one can love child birth. I loved that Sandra let me do what my body told me to do and always asked permission before doing any sort of monitoring or checks. I loved that Matt and I were able to "control" the situation (as much as you can "control" labor) and I loved that when it was all done, Roscoe never left our sight. There were no nurses poking and prodding me or our baby. There was no time period where Roscoe was whisked away for tests and assessments. Everything was done on our bed, right in front of us. When Sandra left and everything was cleaned up, Matt and I got to sleep next to each other in our own bed.
This is Roscoe today...He will be 4 months old on Wednesday!
There are only a couple of things that I would have done differently.
1) I would have filled the birth pool sooner and used it longer.
2) I would have worn a tank top or something so that the pictures of Roscoe and me and Matt would be pictures I could actually show people.
3) I would have pictures of the whole process, not just the end.
I'm not sure how you end a birth story. So I guess this is where I say THE END. :)
Wal-Mart failed us and Matt was disgruntled (YOU ARE IN LABOR! WHY AREN'T YOU FREAKING OUT?! I TOLD YOU WALMART WOULDN'T HAVE IT! HOW WILL WE FILL THE BIRTH POOL? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WAIT? YOUR BIRTH PLAN INCLUDES THE BIRTH POOL! THAT'S WHY ITS BLOWN UP AND READY TO FILL!") so we went home and waited for contractions to regulate. My midwife suggested we try to get some sleep (HAHAHA....sleep....when you know your little human is going to make an entrance within the next 24ish hours....). Matt asked if he should take his sleeping medicine and I assured him it would be fine as we were most likely in for a long night of nothing exciting. I started timing contractions at about 10pm. By midnight they were very consistent. 50 seconds long every 3-5 minutes. They got increasingly uncomfortable and I figured SOMETHING productive was happening. I woke Matt up and told him I was calling my midwife (poor guy was slightly frustrated since he was groggy from his medicine and I told him he could take it and now I was telling him I'm calling the midwife). My midwife came over at about 1:30am and observed my contractions. I put on my birth playlist (Matt says Toto- Africa is forever ruined as we ended up starting the playlist about 12 times but never actually got all the way through. Toto- Africa was the first song on my list. I do not know why) and Matt sat up with us trying to stay awake. At 2am Sandra (my midwife) said he wouldn't miss the action if he went back to bed and that we were probably not having a baby until late Monday morning....she predicted 11am. I predicted 7pm. Matt thought the baby should already be here. At 2:45am Sandra offered to do a cervical check. I agreed to it thinking I had to at least be 2cm. The contractions felt productive! WRONG! Not even a full centimeter dilated. WHAT?!?! Again she suggested trying to get some sleep and so I did. She stayed in our guest room and tried to get some rest too. I crawled into bed and eventually fell asleep. The contractions had slowed down quite a bit (30 second contractions every 4-6 minutes) as soon as Sandra showed up....go figure. I slept in between the contractions. At 5:30am or so I woke up and I could no longer manage the contractions lying down. I went to the living room and felt nauseous, then proceeded to throw up which woke up Matt and Sandra. I went to the beloved birth ball (seriously the best thing ever in my opinion) and started the birth playlist again. Matt found out that Home Depot opened at 6am and rushed off to get our missing doo hickey to fill the birth tub.
It was an incredibly boring and uneventful morning (unless you consider a huge pregnant lady making weird sounds as she bounced on a yoga ball and timed contractions eventful). Sandra monitored baby's heartbeat fairly frequently, always asking permission before touching me. Matt set everything up for the birth pool and then monitored sports news and scores on ESPN.com. Poor Sandra was bored to pieces as we don't have a TV. We all ate some breakfast casserole that one of our friends had made to freeze for this occasion. There was small talk here and there but mostly it was quiet as I focused on contractions and we tried to keep the family in the loop. At around 11am Sandra offered another cervical check which revealed I was 3cm. Contractions were consistent and growing in intensity but were easily managed by deep breathing, bouncing on the ball and some vocalization. Matt also helped me cope by applying counter pressure to my lower back and standing behind me grabbing my hips as I swayed and circled my hips. After my cervical check, contractions really started picking up and my "birth song" (vocalizations) were becoming louder and more focused. I would start low and quiet as I felt the contraction come on and the volume would increase as the contraction did. It was a kind of an "ooooooo" and "awwwww" sound combination. I couldn't replicate it now if I tried. Sandra suggested we go for a walk. She said even if we just walked around the house that would be a good change of environment and would keep things moving along. Matt and I walked to the backyard, stopping twice to "sing" and sway through contractions. He became a pro at timing them for me on our contraction timing app called Full Term. Matt says when we got to the alley and I had a few particularly strong contractions, I had every dog in the neighborhood howling. I'm sure it was quite a sight to whoever saw us. Standing in the alley, making strange (and loud) noises, swaying around with Matt standing behind me applying counter pressure and swaying with me. We went back inside and I asked Sandra if I could take a hot shower. She assured me it would be fine to take a hot shower. The hot water did amazing things for me. I was on all fours on the bathtub floor with hot water hitting my lower back and Matt timing contractions. Sandra came in to check baby's heart rate a couple of times. When I got too hot, I got out of the tub and Matt asked if I wanted to eat. I had been trying to eat light snacks to keep my energy and strength up. Sandra said I could have whatever I wanted for lunch so my sweet husband went out and got me chicken curry (because I love chicken curry). Contractions had slowed down some but had mostly followed a very consistent 1min long, 2min apart pattern. They were pretty strong and my vocalizations became "wilder". Matt brought my lunch and I ate the deliciousness. Sandra asked if she could go get a drink and she would be back in about 30mins. She checked the baby's heart rate and we told her we were fine managing contractions and to feel free to go get a drink or lunch or whatever she needed. Shortly after she left contractions began coming what felt like one right after the other. Matt was having trouble keeping up with timing them. We hadn't filled the birth pool yet because I didn't want to get in too soon and cause stalled labor. I ended up sitting in the bath tub filled with hot water. Splashing hot water on my tummy during a contraction was so relieving. Matt texted Sandra to let her know things were getting pretty intense. She came back and continued to monitor me. I kept refilling the tub with hot water as that was the only relief I could find at that time.
I should mention that Matt was an AWESOME birth partner. He applied counter pressure in exactly the right spot with exactly the right pressure at exactly the right times. He had calmed down since realizing this was going to be a pretty drawn out ordeal and was perfectly collected and helpful. I don't think there was even once when he became aggitating. Just supportive and helpful. He held my hand and told me I was doing great. He was sympathetic during contractions. He was attentive to my needs and requests.
Anyway, at about 2:30 Sandra offered another cervical check. Things were getting crazy intense and I was super inwardly focused. I agreed to the check and found I was 5cm. I could NOT believe I was ONLY halfway. I was seriously starting to think I could not handle this if it was going to take umpteen more hours to dilate to a 10. She said there was a bulging bag of waters which meant when I thought my water had broken, it hadn't really. I was leaking amniotic fluid but it was a "high leak" and the bag was still in tact and still had fluids in it. She offered to break my water and warned me that this would cause baby to drop straight to my cervix and that things would get even more intense but that it would help speed the process up. Originally I did not want artificial rupture of membranes but I could not face the possibility of more endless hours of contractions and if this would help speed things along I was in. In retrospect, I would have kept my waters in tact and coped with the contractions. I was SO unprepared for the pain I received almost immediately after she broke my water. Seriously...an all body and mind consuming pain. I went off to another world and became a possessed crazy demon lady. It no longer felt like waves of contractions that I could time and cope with. My whole body was shivering and shaking uncontrollably. I was trying my best to keep up. My birth song was no longer controlled moaning but was now wild yelling. My focused breathing was out the window and I found myself holding my breath (although I was really trying not to). I was begging to get in the birth pool but it wasn't filled yet. Matt was trying but I had used most of the hot water for my earlier baths.
To my surprised I was most comfortable on my back. I tried many different positions and being on my back was the most relieving. However, Baby Hill disagreed and was not tolerating me being on my back all that well. Matt and Sandra kept rolling me to my left side (I seriously could not move...I was trying but I just couldn't). I was yelling that this was a bad idea and that I couldn't do it. Matt was by my head softly telling me I was doing great and that I could do it....I WAS doing it. Sandra was saying my name and trying to get me refocused, also telling me I was doing great and that I could do it and in fact WAS doing it. Also, that it was a little late in the game to decide that I couldn't do it.
The birth pool was finally ready (not really, it was less than half full. However, it was full enough for me to lay down in it and still find some relief from the hot water.) At first, I flailed around like a crazy fish lady, splashing water all over the place. Sandra checked me again (with my permission) and I was a 7cm. Things were progressing very quickly now. The all consuming pain was gone and I was back to manageable contractions.
Shortly after that I felt major pressure. I kept telling the midwife that I felt like I needed to poop. I asked her if I should try doing that before we proceeded, you know, to avoid any embarrassing mishaps. She said no.
Sandra checked me again and I was FINALLY a 10. Hallelujah!!! Finally!! Yay!! Light at the end of the tunnel!!!!! It hadn't been quite an hour since she broke my water. It was about 3:30 when I started pushing. Sandra monitored baby's heartbeat to make sure baby was tolerating pushing ok. After several hardcore pushes, which I honestly didn't really have control over. My body did all the work and I just listened to it, Sandra told me not to push with the next contraction so we could give Baby Hill and little break and let them "catch their breath", so to speak. Contractions were no long painful, just very "pressurey". It was SO hard not to push during that next contraction. Finally it was over and Sandra said baby was just fine and I could start pushing again. Sandra did not interfere with my pushing process. She monitored and observed to make sure things were going smoothly but she did not tell me when to push and when to stop pushing as long as baby was responding well to pushing.
Pushing hurt. Not in the same way that contractions hurt. I read about the "ring of fire" during child birth. This is a very real thing. It burned...more of a stinging really. I was trying not to push so hard that I caused any major tearing but it was so hard....my body was telling me to push with all my might and resisting that urge is SO HARD. I told Sandra it was burning. I was getting frustrated because every time I would push I would feel baby come down but then baby would go back up and I felt like I had to keep starting over. At some point Sandra told me to reach down and feel my babys head. It was just a little spot of the top of his head but I could feel it! I could see a little bit of babys hair too. Matt asked if he could feel it to, which was surprising because neither of us thought he would be interested in that process. He was so amazed by it. He kept telling me "it's almost here! The baby is almost here!". Sandra told me to try to do smaller pushes closer together instead of big long pushes. I tried really hard but it just wasn't working. Finally we were making some real progress and I was asking Sandra to help me because it was really burning. She provided some support to help babys head come out without causing any major tearing. FINALLY babys head was more out than in and Sandra stepped back and let me at it. I pushed a couple more times and out came babys head. I could see his precious little face. Sandra told me to push his body out and I thought "Oh man, I'm not sure I can handle pushing anymore!". I gave one more little push and Baby Hill's shoulders and body slid right on out, at 4:02pm. I caught him on his way out and pulled him from the water up to my chest straight away. Matt had been holding my hand the whole time and telling me when he could see the baby and just providing support in general. When I pulled the baby out Matt was beaming. My first thought was to check if we had a boy or a girl. It was quite obvious that he was a boy.
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| First picture of all 3 of us (It is not a great picture) |
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| Roscoe and Mommy moments after birth |
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| Matt checking to see if Roscoe has my thumbs (so far, he doesn't) |
Roscoe cried immediately when I pulled him out of the water. He pinked up almost as quickly. Matt said he was nervous at first because Roscoe was blue. I explained to him that this was actually normal. Matt kissed me and then leaned over and kissed our little baby. Sandra took some pictures for us. I held little baby Roscoe right on my chest and gently splashed water on him. I kept his body as much in the water as I could. I thought I would cry when Roscoe was born but I didn't. I was so amazed at everything that had happened. I was in shock that I had actually done it. I had birthed our baby and I had done it pretty much exactly the way I had planned to. Matt and I stared at Roscoe and at each other and took it all in. Sandra checked his cord and took a look at him (without taking him from my arms) to make sure everything was looking good. About 15 mins later I delivered the placenta, which was a BREEZE. She placed it in a bowl floating in the pool and monitored my bleeding. She said it was a little heavy but after pushing/massaging my uterus for a minute said it was all under control. As soon as Roscoes cord stopped pulsing (only a few minutes after delivering the placenta) Matt cut his cord. The whole pregnancy Matt was animate he was not going to cut the cord because a) he didn't do well with blood and b) he was afraid he was going to hurt Roscoe some how. When it came time to do it, he did it and he did it like a pro! He was so excited because he could finally hold Roscoe now that he was no longer attached to me. Matt had Roscoe wrapped up in a towel and Sandra helped me out of the pool and into the bedroom. She helped me get in bed and Matt brought Roscoe to me. Sandra left the room and went to gather some of her supplies and told us she would be back in the room in about an hour as to allow us all some family bonding time. Matt and I took turns holding and admiring little Baby Hill. I tried to get him to latch a couple of times but he wasn't interested. He was sleeping pretty soundly all wrapped up in a fresh fluffy baby blanket.
Sandra came back in and Matt left to rent a pump to pump out the birth pool. Sandra gave me an examination and determined I needed a few stitches. She got everything ready for that and by the time Matt returned was ready to put in the stitches. The lighting in the bedroom is awful for sutures. Sandra asked Matt to help her. Unfortunately, Matt was in a tizzy because he was trying to pump out the pool. The hose was too short to take out in the yard so he just had it out the back door. However, they (being the construction crew working on our house) had just dug out the footings for the concrete work. The water was flooding the footings and since Matt didn't want to have to dig them out again decided to drain the pool in the sink. The pump was pumping water out so fast that it flooded the sink and spilled all over the kitchen. Matt says there was placenta water all over the kitchen floor. He was trying to clean it up and Sandra kept calling him to come help her....it got tense for a moment. Finally Matt got the placenta water more or less cleaned up and came and helped Sandra. Then he took Roscoe and Sandra helped me to the bathroom to finish cleaning up and get into some nice fresh clean clothes. She helped me back into the bedroom and did Roscoes assessment. Weight, length, breathing, heart beat, etc. He checked out perfectly! Matt and I dressed Roscoe and then I tried to see if he would latch again. His latch was spot on from the get go. Sandra gathered her things, I fed Roscoe, Matt saw Sandra out and then we all cuddled on the couch. Matt and I watched Roscoe sleep for a while and finally when the rush of everything started wearing off and the exhaustion started setting in we all went to bed.
I loved my birth experience, as much as one can love child birth. I loved that Sandra let me do what my body told me to do and always asked permission before doing any sort of monitoring or checks. I loved that Matt and I were able to "control" the situation (as much as you can "control" labor) and I loved that when it was all done, Roscoe never left our sight. There were no nurses poking and prodding me or our baby. There was no time period where Roscoe was whisked away for tests and assessments. Everything was done on our bed, right in front of us. When Sandra left and everything was cleaned up, Matt and I got to sleep next to each other in our own bed.
This is Roscoe today...He will be 4 months old on Wednesday!
There are only a couple of things that I would have done differently.
1) I would have filled the birth pool sooner and used it longer.
2) I would have worn a tank top or something so that the pictures of Roscoe and me and Matt would be pictures I could actually show people.
3) I would have pictures of the whole process, not just the end.
I'm not sure how you end a birth story. So I guess this is where I say THE END. :)
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