Born to be Me

When I was little I had all these ideas of what I wanted to do as an adult. I wanted to be a nurse so my cousins and I played hospital. I wanted to be a secretary so my cousins and I played office. I wanted to be a wife and a mom so my cousins and I played house. I apparently wanted to be a felon at some point because my cousins and I (and my older brother) played bank robbery once.
When I was older I really wanted to be a "Domestic Goddess" like my mom. I appreciated so much that she was a stay at home mom and took care of all the stay at home mom stuff. My siblings and I were able to have time with our mom that a lot of children don't get to have because my dad worked hard to provide and my mom stayed home. This was particularly nice when she decided to home school me and my two younger siblings. At the time there were times where we were all ready to kill each other because we NEVER got a break from each other. We were together, all day, every day. Now I cherish those times.
My mom is not a boring housewife. She is a "Domestic Goddess". She is fun and creative and full of life. She is not your 50's era housewife where everything is prim and proper and shiny. She has a sign that says "Sexy Women Have Messy Kitchens". When I was home schooled and people asked what I was studying I always told them I was a "Domestic Goddess" in training.
The tough part of being a "Domestic Goddess" is that you generally need a working man. I started working when I was 16 at a western store in the mall. During my working years I was also a cake decorator, a cashier at Wal-Mart, a bank teller, a personal assistant to a psychiatrist (who, quite frankly, could have benefited from a psychiatrist of his own), a journalist, a barista, a support staff for developmentally disabled adults, a receptionist, a human resources assistant, a "schedule fairy", an accountability processor, an employee trainer, a compliance officer, a training coordinator, a grant writer (ok I only did one, but still), administrative assistant to clinical staff and finally a technical librarian assistant.
When I was 19 my family moved to Texas and I chose to stay in New Mexico so I was on my own. True, I was living with my 33 year old boyfriend (at his moms house) so I didn't have rent or utilities or things of that nature. Actually I can't even remember what bills I was paying at the time. I didn't have a car so there was no financial responsibility there. Anyway, long story short, after 2 1/2 MISERABLE years at this guys moms house a rental property became available through the organization I worked for and they were nice enough to let us rent it. Obviously my aspirations to be a "Domestic Goddess" were not going to pan out. I carried all of the financial responsibility of having our "own" house. I payed the rent, I paid the utilities, I bought the groceries, I bought the house supplies, etc. However, I still owned being a part-time Domestic Goddess. I was super proud of my house and I worked hard to keep it sparkling and I enjoyed doing it.
I didn't enjoy my boyfriend or his mom. I couldn't enjoy my home environment because I couldn't stand who I lived with. So eventually I was out. I moved to Texas with my family. Mr. Matthew Hill, my now husband, moved from Ohio to Texas and we got married. That's the short version.
He knew I wanted to be a "Domestic Goddess" and we both knew we would have to work our way to that point. So we both worked and he supported us for the most part and my income paid the odds and ends and we were able to still save. We lived in a tiny ugly apartment but it was cheap. We (Matt) pinched pennies everywhere we could. Eventually he got a job opportunity in Amarillo and we bought a house. We talked about me looking for work once we got here but eventually decided we could afford for me to FINALLY be the housewife I always wanted to be. And it has been FANTASTIC. I finally feel like I am filling my place in life. I can stay home and focus on keeping our house tidy and have fun decorating and making our house feel like a home. I can take care of all the things that stress Matt out and he takes care of the things that stress me out (going to work). There have been a few bumps where I feel bored, lazy and under stimulated but I am learning to find new things to do everyday.
Our newest addition (Roscoe) has definitely taken care of those "bored, lazy and under stimulated" days.
All this to say, I love my place as a housewife and stay at home mom. I've been told my a lot of people my whole life that I should go to college and I could do something big. Some have wondered why I wanted to be "just" a housewife. I don't feel like "just" a housewife is a bad place to have. I never went to college, I don't have a degree and I don't roll in the cash. However, I wake up every morning and I make the coffee. I make breakfast. I change the baby and feed him. I make sure my husband has clean clothes and a lunch. I spend my day sweeping, mopping, dusting, budgeting, running errands, keeping the baby entertained, playing with the dog and the pig and occasionally I get to read a book or write a blog. I feel more fulfilled than I ever have. Being a housewife and a stay at home mom is absolutely the best job I've ever had and I am thankful to have the role of "Domestic Goddess".